Basil Marceaux.com

God help Tennessee...

So there's this guy - Basil Marceaux - who's running for Governor of Tennessee. At first I thought it had to be a joke. There's no way that anyone actually thinks that this guy could be qualified to run an entire state. It's like that guy from American Idol a bunch of seasons back who sang She Bangs... we all knew the only reason he was on the TV was to make us laugh at how pathetic he was. But with Mr. Marceaux, we're all laughing at the fact that this is 100% serious. I really can't use any more words to describe it. Just watch the following videos and shudder in fear that this man may actually have a chance at getting elected...

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "dot-com" Yazge

BREAKING NEWS!

THIS JUST IN: Mr. Hot Stuff on the right just turned 22.

In what is being regaled as the event of the year, or at the very least the zenith of this week's activities, today is the official 22nd Birthday of one Mr. Matteo "Ugly American" Yazge. Rumors abound as to the exact specifics of the day's festivities. While we can't 100% confirm the truthfulness of these rumors, we can spread them like wildfire, because honestly as far as trustworthiness is concerned, rumors are good enough for us. Here are some of the things we've heard through the grapevine that could definitely maybe be a part of this blow-out celebration:

• Tigers
• Hula-hooping fire breathers
• An all-day open bar
• Drunk Tigers
• Celebrity appearances by Hollywood's most famous and beautiful: Jennifer Aniston, Zoe Saldana, Danny DeVito
• Danny DeVito does his famous Drunken Tiger trick
• Danny DeVito gets taken to the hospital for deep tiger-claw lacerations
• Lindsay Lohan makes an appearance at Danny DeVito's bedside, fresh from prison, on her way to rehab, in hopes of one last hit of prescription medication.

Like I said, all of this is alleged. While we can't confirm, we can hope for the best, both for Matthew's birthday and for Danny DeVito's recovery. Please contact the Ugly American as to where you can send birthday presents and get well cards/flowers. Well, really you could send flowers to both. Who doesn't love a nice birthday bouquet? 

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "22" Yazge

LXD

It's about time we discovered the super powers of dance.

With NBC's Heroes officially cancelled and my recently rediscovered appreciation for the art of the dance, I've been looking for a show that combines a character's need to save the world and his ability to shake what his momma gave him. Luckily, The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers (or simply LXD) came along. It's an exclusive web show from Jon Chu - the guy behind all the Step Up movies. LXD only shows on Hulu, and new episodes come out every Wednesday. They're only 10 minutes long tops, so you can catch up really quickly if you haven't been watching. The downside is that you'll want a lot more once you've watched all the episodes.

It may seem a little stupid at first, but once you actually see the dancing you'll be hooked. I've never seen dancing like this. In my favorite episode thus far, "Robot Love Story", the dancers have INSANE isolation. I've probably watched this episode at least 10 times in the past 3 days. Here, if you don't believe me, watch it for yourself:

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Extraordinary Dancer" Yazge

Guerrilla Ice Cream

No, no... guerrilla, not gorilla.

Yesterday Lauren and I ventured down to the Hester Street Fair and found what might be the best ice cream I've had all week, maybe even all month. It's called Guerrilla Ice Cream and they have some of the most genius flavors I've seen. I got the yogurt flavored sorbet topped with halvah and pomegranate molasses. Is your mouth watering yet? They also had Chai Masala topped with sliced almonds and candied fennel. The most visually impressive flavor was the dark chocolate/port wine flavor, which was then dressed up with cashews and bananas that they fosters-ized in front of you with a blow torch. 

If the flavors aren't enough to motivate you to go chase these guys down every weekend, then their philanthropy hook should - 100% of the profits go to helping marginalized communities around the globe. Each flavor of ice cream is named after political movements around the world. That's right. They're the ice cream men that care. I'm not 100% on how all the distributions of funds works, but I like to think that because I ordered their Lebanese flavor that somehow I was helping the people in the old country. 

Who wants to chase them down when I get back?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Gorilla" Yazge

Jacques, mon ami

This man knows what he's doing.

My latest chocolate love is a variety of dark Mexican Oaxaca (pronounced wah-ha-kah). It's chocolate that's seasoned with chipotle flavors and cayenne pepper. Some people might think it sounds weird, but it adds a really clean, refreshing finish. It's not like you're sitting there begging for water because it's so spicy. Think of it as more of an afterthought than an overpowering flavor. Jacques Torres understands my love, and has addressed my love with his trademark flavor called "Wicked" - his take on Oaxaca. Even better, he took that flavor and made it into Ice Cream. So on our little adventure through three boroughs yesterday, Lauren and I stumbled upon the Jacques Torres location in DUMBO (the neighborhood in Brooklyn, not the elephant). It was instantly deemed necessary for me to eat something. We grabbed some Wicked ice cream and sat on the rocks over in the park, 10 feet from the water and watched the sun set over the Brooklyn bridge and New York skyline. This is one of the millions of reasons why I love New York.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Oaxaca" Yazge

Ciao for Now!

So there are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says to the second muffin, "Man, it's really hot in here." The second muffin says, "OH MY GOD! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

These muffins sure were speaking to me. You know what they were saying? Eat me. Well, technically I had cupcakes, but one was carrot cake, so I feel that counts. I bought and used my first Groupon yesterday at a restaurant literally around the block from me called Ciao for Now. It's a great little cafe that has a lot of locally sourced ingredients with great organic/vegetarian options. I really wish I would have known that it was there 3 months ago, because I've been looking for a place with this vibe all summer.

Thanks to both Groupon and my mother, Lauren and I enjoyed a delicious dinner/dessert. I got the Asian chop salad, which was really filling without being too heavy. Sometimes if there's too much dressing or they use too much sesame oil you can feel a little gross after eating those types of salads. To drink we got their lemon ginger green tea, which was like a glass of sippable heaven. Again, they really know how to flavor things, because you weren't left with that sticky/congested feeling you can sometimes get with flavored and sweetened teas. It was enough flavor to enjoy, but no so much you couldn't finish the glass.

Long story short we loved the place (and the people that worked there) and we're going back tomorrow for brunch! Anyone want to join???


Ciao (for now) Bella!

Matteo "Talking Muffin" Yazge

In the news...

Ms. Campbell, when not assaulting the paparazzi, has the utmost respect for the law. 

It's a Thursday, and there's a lot happening in the world, which is convenient because there's not too much happening in my life. So instead of sharing one of my happy little misadventures, today I am going to share the happy little misadventures of other people. Here's the latest:

Naomi Campbell is the Law
Apparently she is a key witness in the war crimes trial against the former Liberian President today at The Hague. This story has everything you need to ensure great coverage: former president accused of involvement with blood diamonds, super model as a key witness, suspense and debate about the details surrounding the evening that is supposed to be key to the prosecution's evidence, and... The Hague. Who doesn't love a good time at the Hague? That's what I want to know. According to the New York Times article, Naomi Campbell is a "hostile witness" who was very uncooperative. To that I say you can't expect someone to look that good AND be cooperative. It's one or the other - though can I say she was having some issues with her hair at the court appearance today? I mean what do you expect a model to do when handed a bag full of blood diamonds as a gift? They should have thought of that before they subpoenaed her.

Prop 8 is Overturned

In a landmark case, the California Supreme Court overturned Proposition 8. While this is all very interesting in and of itself, the more fascinating aspect of the whole story is how Justice Vaughn R. Walker set the stage for what will most likely be a very interesting US Supreme Court case. Yesterday's NYTimes article discusses how half of the importance of the ruling is in Judge Walker's 138 page legal opinion. Apparently, the logic that he used to defend his ruling puts the Supreme Court in a tricky position if they want to uphold Prop 8. It all makes sense when you read the article, something about facts and due process and separating moral/religious opinions unless there's an additional secular purpose and/or benefit. The real point is that I'm having flashbacks to my business law class and how much I enjoyed the courts, jurisprudence, and a good round of legal intrigue. It's almost as exciting as when the major networks decided to move daytime soaps to primetime and give the shows names like "Grey's Anatomy" or "LOST".

The Post Office is a Hateful, Hateful Place

And now for some coverage that you CAN'T find in the New York Times: So I had to go to the Post Office today. I normally avoid it like the plague, because just like the plague it can cause rashes, fever, and in most cases, death. I had 199 envelopes that were unsealed, unstamped, and in need of sending. Now I'm fully aware that the post office is in possession of at least one (if not multiple) sealer and stamper machines - I'm sure there's a real name for this sort of technology, but all you need to know is there's a quick, pain-free way that they can seal thousands of envelopes and apply postage to them. However, because the post office inspires bubonic-like symptoms and severe depression and dymensia in all of it's employees, I had no such luck in enlisting the services of said machines. The very sad looking woman behind the metal bars at the window told me she could not help me. With anything. Ever. Or something to that effect...

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Breaking News" Yazge