Gertrude Loves Katy

My latest guilty pleasure...

So I've decided that there's some sort of 13-year-old girl living inside of me that, when deprived of horrible pop music, gets very anxious and starts to act out. She throws tantrums, makes me go see Twilight movies with my sister, and on more than one occasion has made me consider what bangs would look like. I've named her Gertrude. The name seems to go with her less-than-desirable personality. So, Gertrude's latest act of rebellion has been Katy Perry's "Caliornia Girls". If you'd asked me a month ago if I liked this song, I would have thrown my drink in your face and challenged you to a duel to defend my honor as a man and an intellectual. Now, sadly, I would only start dancing up and down and ask if you had any candy. 

Enjoy the video. Please get addicted so I'm not the only one... Gertrude needs some friends. (She's not the best at making them on her own)

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Gertrude" Yazge

200!!!

For Ingrid, who taught me how to be straight-up gansta.

OK. Let's be honest. I'm not gangsta. I'm not even a little bit gangster, with an "r". (There's a difference, trust me.) But I feel that if I were to be either of those two things, I would still owe a lot of my street cred to one Ingrid Michaelson, the baddest betch in all the land. 

Today is a fun day, because I officially hit 200 posts with this entry! Not only that, I'm still running of the high from last night's Ingrid Michaelson concert, which was - as one audience member yelled out - SPLENDID! Which prompted Ingrid to go into this old-timey voice and talk about splendid things... She's great with the witty banter. Anyway, at one point in the concert she talks about how a lot of her fans approach her and say the same thing: "OMG INGRID! You're songs are soooo cute! You're just sooo cute! Everything about you and your music is cute Cute CUTE!" She then said that these people clearly don't listen to the lyrics, because she's not cute, she's "dark and twisted." Which when you listen to her lyrics, it's a little true. So Ingrid sang us this fake song about her growing old by herself in the middle of nowhere with a dog and dying alone, and then rotting in the ground. All to the ukulele. That's gangsta.

The problem is I love the dark and twisty lyrics. I think they're genius. And when I listen to those songs loud enough for other people to hear, they think I'm listening to happy ukulele music. While that's partially true, I'm also listening to artistic genius (all artistic genius has to be a little dark and twisty). I think of it as prep work for when I'll be old and dying alone and rotting in the ground, outlived by my only companion - my incontinent dog. That's gangster.

To 200 posts! To Ingrid Michaelson! To gangsta rap and the thug life!


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "thug-nasty" Yazge

Ke$ha = Genius

There are no words...

OK. So there are a lot of words. I would like to start of with a disclaimer that I love Ke$ha and think she is a entertainment genius. That being said, this performance is ape shit crazy. The two are not mutually exclusive. I'm actually just really jealous that I don't have large amounts of black-light paint on my body as well. However, the entire time, I couldn't help but be reminded of the Kelis "Acapella " video. That's actually a really good thing in my book.

I don't want to finish this post without saying how brilliant it is that she compares being love to being all hopped up on cocaine or something. Or withdrawal? I don't know. I've never done drugs, but something about needing a fix and being addicted just sounds a lot like love. That and banging your head against a wall. 

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Love is my Drug" Yazge

SEASON PREMIER!

I'm baaaaaaaack!

The crowds have spoken: WE NEED MORE UGLY AMERICAN! Now, to clarify for legal purposes (I don't need a lawsuit on my hands here) "the crowds" is actually my cousin Victoria... But still. One's a crowd, two's a party, and Three's Company? Come and knock on our door? I feel I may be mixing metaphors. The point is I was gone for a while, and now I'm not as gone as I used to be. Chalk it up to my general exhaustion, midterms, or aphasia. You pick.

I originally wanted to time my return with the return of Glee. That didn't happen so much. But did you see that episode??? Genius. And apparently so are the characters. I quote, "Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?" Yes, America. This is our future. And I love every minute of it. (As should you!) If the regular gleefulness of the show weren't enough, we are getting a WHOLE SPANKING EPISODE OF MADONNA. Just try and tell me you're not excited. If you're not, just watch this. It will convince you. God, I miss the 80's.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Has Gleefully Returned" Yazge

Shake your bon-bon

In honor of Ricky.

So two crazy things happened yesterday: 1) Ricky Martin declared his undying love for the mens, and 2) I stumbled across this ridiculous video on YouTube. I know I'm probably the last one to see this Lady Gaga Chatroulette thing, but I thought it was hysterical. This just shows what people do when they have too much time on their hands. They either A) have twins via a surrogate and name them Mateo and Valentino (awesome names btw), or B) dress in drag and dance around on a video chatroom to Lady Gaga. It just seemed fitting that I discuss/share these things together. Thematically, I find them very similar. In a slightly unrelated topic, is anyone interested in being my not-so-surrogate? We'll one up Martin and have triplets, then give them even more Latin names. I'm thinking Guiermo, Maria-Josefina, and J-Lo? Let me know if you're interested. I'll buy you a drank.

Before I go, I'd like to do for Ricky Martin what I did for Betty White. I would now like to share with you the many faces of Ricky.

Ricky, Former Pop Singing Sensation

Ricky, Proud Father of Two

Ricky, Soon to be Author of a Memoir

(He's going to stand in front of a mirror and copy down that t-shirt a million times. It's going to be riveting)

Ricky, Tattoo Enthusiast

And last but not least....

Ricky, "Fortunate Homosexual Man" (all quotes courtesy of Ricky Martin press release)

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "He Bangs, He Bangs" Yazge

New Glee Promo!

Holy mother of Madonna, it's almost Glee time!

There's another promo out just to tease us. But let's be very honest with ourselves; how awesome is it that "Like a Prayer" made the cut for this season? And how funny is Sue Sylvester about her Bravo joke? It's funny because it's true. And there's more Matthew Morrison hair jokes. What's not funny is how FOX keeps teasing us with awesome new clips, several weeks before the show even comes back. We still have until April 13th.

Also, did anyone notice that there's a new dude schmoozing all over Leah Michele's character? Girl's going to get hers, AND a sing off. At this rate, by the time the season's over she'll have made out with everyone on the show. Not that I'm judging. I hear that's the easiest way to get ahead in life...

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Gleek" Yazge

Something in the Water

If there's something in the water, I want what she's drinking...

The other night my sister and I were online swapping music, something that happens about once every other month or so. One of the songs she sent me really clicked with me. Blame it on the weather getting warmer here; blame it on the fact that this song reminds me I leave for an island vacation in less than a week; blame it on my love for Caribbean women. But any way you cut it, V.V. Brown is awesome.

Her debut CD, Traveling Like the Light, came out last June. Don't ask me how I missed it. But the best part about the CD? It's $5.99 on iTunes right now. For 12 songs. If you don't buy this CD right now, you're crazy. Listening to it just makes you happy. It's as simple as that. I could go on and on about how brilliant her personal story is - turning down a spot at Oxford to pursue music, turning down P. Diddy and Bad Boy Records for a legit record label, having a sold out tour and songs featured on several American TV shows - but at the end of the day, all you care about is how phenomenal the music is. If it doesn't make you tap your toe or jump up dancing, you're not human.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "Shark in the Water" Yazge

Glee's coming back... in over a month.

There are other things I could write about, but when there's new Glee, who wants to hear about anything else?

For starters, I'd just like to say that FOX is a sick network for repeatedly dangling something as amazing as Glee in front of our faces and then making us wait unnecessarily for months before we get to see full episodes. That being said, I can't wait. 

One thing I still can't figure out though, is how they managed to get the rights to a Beetles song. I thought that when Michael Jackson died, he had the rights to the music buried with him. Touche Mr. Jackson. You have thought of one more way to make a scene, even postmortem. I'm impressed. But your shenanigans are no match for Glee, some shovels, and a lot of illegal day-laborers who were willing to break all kinds of laws in the middle of the night to get us our Beetles music back. As a consolation, I will vouch for you and say that Glee should do an all-Michael tribute episode. They're already doing one for Madonna, and she's not nearly as dead as you are. Close, but not quite there.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Glee-ful" Yazge

Why is everyone obsessed with older men?!

Very different movies... that were almost the same.

When Hollywood finds a theme it likes, it doesn't tend to stray too far away from it. Apparently this year is all about the shattered romance, especially that with an older man. Oh, and great soundtracks. They love great soundtracks.

Yesterday I saw An Education and A Single Man. Both were really good, and there were a lot of common threads. Both main characters are searching for purpose, oddly enough both are British, and both are/were in relationships that had a 10 year+ age difference. And even though one is a school girl and the other is a grieving, suicidal professor in his 50's, I couldn't help but feel that the two would have a lot to talk about if they ever met.

As far as direction and the movies themselves, they were very well done. I think it may be because I'm huge into the 50's/60's era, but I'm was a huge fan of the setting/music/aesthetic. The costuming was great, but again I would be fine wearing postwar attire. Skinny ties and huge Raybans just seem to fit me so well. The cinematography was great, moreso in A Single Man though. They did a lot with color, which was fascinating. Beautifully done.

Last but not least, I would like to note that Colin Firth's student in A Single Man is played by the guy that was the awkward kid in About A Boy. He's all grown up now and hitting on his professors. See what you can aspire to kids?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "A single man getting an education" Yazge

Grammys? Really?

The hottest mess this award season...

I don't even know where to begin. There was so much insanity and trashiness, my head is literally spinning. I'd love to talk about how Taylor Swift is tone deaf, or how embarrassing it must have been for Stevie Nicks to play backup tambourine for her. I could also gab on about how sad it was the Kathy Griffin didn't win for best spoken word album, but after tonight she'll have enough material to keep making CDs for years. Or I could even blabber about how ridiculous it is that CBS wants to have some online voting system for something no one cares about. We already have the People's Choice Awards. Let them give away awards that don't mean anything.

But the real meat of the evening came when they decided to honor Michael Jackson. First of all, who thought it was a good idea to have Celine, Usher, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Smokey Robinson sing a Michael Jackson song? As my friend Zach put it, "There's 'No no no no way' J-Hud should be singing Michael." Furthermore, who thought - having decided on that cracked out ensemble - that putting it in 3D would make it even better? False. All false. But we got to watch Beyoncé ridiculously groovin' in her 3D glasses. I actually laughed out loud at that. Then, once the singing was over (thank God), THEY BRING OUT THE CHILDREN! What?! We weren't allowed to see them the entire time he was alive, but now that DVD sales need boosting, we're justing going to parade them around like a dog and pony show. And where was Blanket? Did he have to stay home? Or was he keeping Uncle Tito and Aunt Latoya company while they were filming the latest episode of that new reality show? Because we all know there was no way in hell the publicists were going to let any of Michael's siblings get within 5 miles of a live microphone. That family needs so much time in post-edit, I'm surprised that reality show isn't going to be aired years after it's first filmed. And what was with the cousins who just stood there looking stupid? Don't think we didn't notice that it looked like Michael wasn't the only one who had some work done. 

And before I go, someone should tell Andre Bucchelli that he should NEVER sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water." The operatic style doesn't led itself to soul music. It just sounds condescending. I'll donate money to Haiti if he promises to never sing that song again.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "Grammy Horrified" Yazge

Burst your Bublé

I aspire to this on a daily basis.

Michael Bublé is the man. It's just that simple. Can I tell you how many times I've entered the grocery store with the intention of causing a scored and choreographed riot? I start singing along to my iPod hoping that the person next to me will join in, the cashiers will start dancing on the conveyor belts, and the lobsters in the tank will magically start do-wopping in the background. Of course, none of that happens. I'm not Michael Bublé.

I had no idea until I was at the gym this morning that there was even a music video for this song. See? Exercise really is good for you. His new CD is great. I'd tell you more about it, but I'm waiting for my sister to send me the rest of it. File your complaints with her.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Wishes he were Michael Bublé" Yazge

Si pensi di poter ballare?

This should have been the winner... Jakob.

So, I realize that I am WAY behind on the cultural bandwagon, but I just need to discuss So You Think You Can Dance for a minute...

My sister got me addicted 3 days ago, and we tore through half a season on our DVR since then. Granted this is coming like 2 weeks too late, but I'd like to file a formal complaint with "them", because there is no way in HELLLLLLLL that that Russell moron should have won. No way. The guy can't do anything except fist pump... Snooki from Jersey Shore could out dance him. Pathetic. And can talk about his supposed "knee injury"? Notice how once he was announced the winner, he was miraculously better? Yeah, apparently when you get an undeserved victory, the Baby Jesus miraculously gives you a new knee to go with it. If you give a moose a muffin...

The real winner here (besides the show, dance, and America, according to the cracked out judges) is Jakob. First of all, he spells his name with a "k". Automatic win. Second, he can actually dance. All of it. He doesn't think he can dance. He can dance. And he's classy... he would never rip his shirt off and fall down on his knees, scream random noises, scream about his many girlfriends, and refuse to get off the floor even after the host repeatedly asked him. Unlike Russell. Just saying.

You just wait, FOX. You'll be getting a strongly worded letter from the Yazge siblings. Also, Cat Deeley, watch your botoxed back. Baby Lexi got some words to share with you.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "Furioso" Yazge

La Fanciulla del West

Saucy.

So in class the other day, we discussed an opera by Puccini: La Fanciulla del West. Our professore said it was based on a second-rate play by the American playwrite David Belasco, the quasi-original author of Madam Butterfly. It's a long story about how everyone back then thought it was cool to pervert a Japanese cultural tradition into sex trafficking, and then write about it. But now I'm rambling.

The point is that there were real guns and horses on stage. And the heroine, Minnie, had to keep a handle on a bunch of drunken miners. And she did it while packing heat. She's rough, and tough, and saves the man she loves - a Wild West bandit - by winning him in a game of poker (she cheats). Sexy. But it's funny, because in the middle of the opera, she gets her first kiss. She's like an early 20th century version of Drew Barrymore. Add all that with the fact that they yell "HULLO!" and "YEE-HAW!" every other line, you've got yourself one awesome opera. Our professore told us that some people try to count the times "HULLO" is said over the course of the show... I think he may have the imaginings of a brilliant drinking game. We're in the Wild Wild West afterall, right?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Yippee-kai-aye!" Yazge

Venezia

Venice the Menace: gondolas; me and my wifey Hannah; the entrance to La Fenice and a picture inside... where no pictures are allowed; San Marco exterior and icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark.

So almost a week later, I'm finally getting around to talk about it. Venice was wonderful. I can't believe I wasn't going to go... it was the perfect day. We started off just wandering around, got coffee, and the most amazing pastries. I don't know why the rest of Italy's been holding out on us, but Venice certainly didn't. Think of a cinnamon bun, but flakey instead of gooey, and then squish it, fill it with chocolate and top it with powdered sugar and chocolate chips. Fantastic.

Eventually we found our way to San Marco, the local Basilica. The majority of the artwork is Byzantine, and mysteriously found it's way to Venice. That's the nice way of putting it. The other way, is to say that it was savagely pillaged from an Orthodox church in Constantinople by the heinous crusaders. I was really excited to see the icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark next to each other. It both warmed my heart and made me miss my brother.

After San Marco, we made it to Il Teatro La Fenice, the Venetian opera house. Some crazy person burnt it down in 1999, so they had to rebuild it. The nice thing is that they got to restore everything to the condition when it the theater was first built! Plus electricity! You weren't supposed to take pictures, but since when have signs and people in ill-fitting vests ever stopped me? Never. That's when. Also, the whole rebuilding of La Fenice was such a big deal that last week it was referenced in a mock funeral for the city of Venice. Apparently the locals are leaving in droves (only 60,000 people live in the city proper). So they gave the city a funeral. And then set the casket on fire...? Inside was a flag with a phoenix on it. Symbolism. Performance art mingled with political protest. Lame and confusing? You decide.

Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I have some really good stuff planned for you while I'm gone. Now that I'm starting to take advantage of all the little tools embedded in my blog, you get posts even when I'm without internet access for the weekend! I promise to figure out other cool stuff too. But let's be real: it took me over 5 months just to figure out delayed posting. Don't expect too much more by next week.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Thessaloniki-bound" Yazge

Bella Firenze, Ti Amo

Oh Florence, how I've missed thee...

I'm falling in love with this city all over again. Fall break was wonderful, and there will be many a blog post about it. But I'm so glad to be back home. I'm not cut out for jumping from one city to the next in rapid-fire succession. Nor do I particularly enjoy hostels... So glad I stayed with friends for two of the stops (thanks Liz and Emma!)

Also, I would never recommend to anyone trying to spend anything less than an entire week in Paris. Or London for that matter. There's so much to see that you really can't do it in just 3 or 4 days. When I go back to Paris I want to make sure I make it to the Luxembourg Gardens and the cemetery - the one where Oscar Wilde is buried. I know there are other people there too, but his name is the only one that jumps out at me.

You'd also be very proud of me for traveling with just one very small bag and a tote bag for an entire weeks worth of travel plus souvenirs. Such a good packer.

But I'm so tired, and just content to be "home". There's some outdoor concert going on one piazza over from us, and you can hear it if you leave our windows open. It's all classical choral and orchestral music, and stunningly beautiful. Jamie and I are just staring out at the Duomo from our window, listening to the music, sipping our champagne, and celebrating a job well done on an amazing week of travel.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Fiorentino" Yazge

La Chiese Russa di nuovo

It looks less ominous the second time around.

So I figure everyone deserves a second chance. Even rude priests. I went back to the Russian Church today, and it wasn't that bad. Partially because I showed up "late". The website says that they start Liturgy at 9:30. False. They start thinking about doing the pre-liturgical readings around 9:30. The service doesn't actually start until 10:15 or later. So when I showed up at 9:45, I still had to wait a good half an hour until Liturgy actually began. Instead of moaning like a bum like I did last time, I had private prayer time. All things considered, it was probably good for me.

I sang along to whatever hymns I knew, which was interesting because I knew the music, but clearly not the words. Slavonic isn't my forte. But apparently I was convincing enough that the woman standing in front of me offered to share the music she was holding - music that was written out in cyrillic. I just shrugged and said "Inglese". We both smiled and she turned around.

I may end up going back again, but as I'm spending most of my weekends out of town for the rest of the semester, I don't know when I'll be back next. I'm going to try to find an Orthodox Church in Paris and London. I feel those would both be fun experiences, one because it will be in French (hopefully) and the other because I'll actually understand what they're saying. Anyone been abroad and to an Orthodox Church they particularly enjoyed?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Post Liturgical Nap-time" Yazge

L'Opera Bellissima

Amami, Alfredo.

We went back to the Opera last night for Il Trovatore, which ended up being a better cast than that of Rigoletto. I just need to remember to take a nap next time... before we go to the opera. Not during the 4th Act. Brooke and I decided to throw an aperativo - the Italian equivalent of drinks and appetizers - for our class before the show. It ended up only being four of us, but we had a nice time. Pear with peccarino and balsamic, red and green tomato bruschetta, homemade mushroom pasty puffs, peppers with tzatziki... and wine. My glass is probably what contributed to my nap. That and the fact that the Italians can't seem to grasp the concept of air conditioning. I'm sorry, but when you turn out the lights, crank up the heat, and make me listen to classical music, I'M GOING TO FALL ASLEEP! The people at NYU said that the Italians don't believe in air conditioning because they think it makes you sick. Right. And so they all smoke like chimneys because...?

But ignoring ignorance, I'd like to share how excited about La Traviata. It's one of the more moving love stories I've read/heard/seen. The really cool thing that I didn't realize until seeing La Traviata, is that Moulin Rouge takes almost all of its core plot developments from the opera. A "fallen woman" with consumption, a man who falls in love with her, story takes palce in Paris, a father figure who convinces her to lie and say she doesn't love the young man. I'd also like you to notice how Nicole Kidman and Anna Netrebko are both wearing red dresses. Just an awesome coincidence. I don't, however, think it's a coincidence that I love the music to both. La Traviata is the first operatic score that I would listen to from start to finish and be emotionally moved the whole way through. I'm so glad I ordered the Netrebko DVD. You should too. Prontissimo.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "the Troubador" Yazge

Rigoletto

Opera, now in Chunky. I can only hope that if I ever write an opera they'll put it on a soup can.

In a word: Delicious. In two words: Heart Burn. Although that could just be all the caffeine rushing through my system. We went to the Opera last night for class, and 3 cups of coffee were necessary today to keep me awake. I swear I'm a grandpa. If I'm not in bed by 9, I'm out of commission the next day. Next thing I know, I'm going to be asking if anyone's seen my catheter...

Last night was our first of three operas that we get to see in the following week. We saw Rigoletto last night. Il Trovatore is tomorrow, and La Traviata next Wednesday. I was impressed with the performance, but there were parts that made me glad that I got to go for free, like when the soprano was ridiculously flat during half of one of her arias. Or when the orchestra drowned out all the voices but the chorus. They used a minimalist set which was really nice though. Apparently they couldn't construct huge Zepherelli-esque sets because they have to switch out the Operas every 3 days or so.

The coolest part is that even though we went on an understudy night we got to see James Valenti, a famous American tenor, as the Duke. Our professor told us that Valenti was supposed to be the main actor for the role, but got demoted after completely missing a note in one of his pieces. I think that's a little unforgiving, but I'm not complaining that I got to see him.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Soupy" Yazge

Il ragazzo che sapeva troppo

Consequently, the boy who epically wins...

If you don't own MIKA's new CD, you need stop whatever you're doing, slap yourself for being so ridiculous, and then go buy it. Trust me. You'll thank me.

I feel it's appropriate to blog about MIKA, as he's European. Well, technically he's half Lebanese and half white-bread American. His dad was in the armed forces in Lebanon, and married a Lebanese woman. They moved to Paris for a while and then settled in London, where MIKA studied music classically (as in he studied classical music, he studied in a classic manner, and he was very classy while doing so). He graduated from the Royal College of Music in London (as in he graduated with pomp and circumstance like Royalty, and did other Royal and Musical things including but not limited to graduating). In 2006 he released Boy in Cartoon Motion, which came to my ears with great success. I listened to it a lot, and everyone in my head thought it was rather enjoyable. In fact, there were enough voices present to hold a quorum and award MIKA a key to the State of Delusion.

My multiple personalities are now incredibly pleased to announce the release of MIKA's latest CD, The Boy Who Knew Too Much. My literary voice would like to note MIKA's obvious use of the word "boy" in both CD titles, and would also like to suggest that he does so to reaffirm in the public eye that he indeed is of the male gender. (Trust us, it can be confusing with his falsetto). We also strongly recommend listening to "Touches You" on repeat. It may be the best song on the entire CD. You will be instantly addicted.

In other news, I have an overwhelming appetite. I'm off to find cheesecake.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "and Julian, Esteban, Mr. Sourpuss, and Helga" Yazge

Inghilterra

James Morrison is my hero.

Today's favorite things originate from a wandering journey I took to SOHO back in freshman year. It was when Lauren came to visit, and we thought we would go see what could find South of Houston. We stumbled upon Ben Sherman, which quickly became one of my favorite stores in that neighborhood.

While we were there, I heard a song that got stuck in my head... and like any good song that gets stuck in my head for the first time, I didn't know what it was. I later found out it was James Morrison.

I recently rediscovered both Ben Sherman and James Morrison. Both are British, so I really think it's just the Inghilterra trying to get me to visit. It knows I'm coming to Europe soon, and it's beckoning. The other night I was waiting for Kat and Jaclyn to get into town, and I decided to wander down Broadway, when I saw Ben Sherman. I went in with the intention of finding a rain coat, or something that was really nice and I could try to excuse to my bank account as semi-rain-proof. For some reason the stuff I tried on had an awkward fit, but that's probably just because I have an awkward body. I don't want to discourage anyone from trying it out. But the sales people had no problem telling me how cute I was. And this is why EVERYONE should shop there. As much as I'd love to think that I'm just that genuinely attractive, I'm pretty sure it was a sales tactic. But hey, I'll take it wherever I can get it. Shower me with compliments and smiles and batted lashes, and I'm so yours. I might even buy something.

Oh, and I just downloaded the latest James Morrison CD. Good times, but not as exciting as being hit on by an entire store's closing shift.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Cute Jacket" Yazge