Uffa! E ancora non c'e un uccello!

I could use a real pick-me-up right about now...

So I'm exhausted. What's new? After sleeping 20 minutes past my alarm, and stopping by the grocery store to pick up the last of the ingredients for tomorrow's dinner, I decided I should get "un taglio", a haircut. It's been a while and I was looking fairly gross. More so than usual. On my way to the barber shop, I realized what a wonderful day it was outside. The leaves were changing, the sky was blue, the river looked less polluted than it normally does. I started to get a little verklempt, realizing how much I'm going to miss Italy when I leave in 2 weeks. That was before my haircut...

What should have been a quick walk across the river and back took over THREE HOURS! The woman told me that I'd have to wait an hour, hardly enough time to go back home and accomplish anything with my life. So I wandered around in the beautiful weather for a while and went back. I then proceeded to wait another 45 minutes before I was allowed to sit in the back and wait 10 more minutes for someone to shampoo my hair. I didn't get back until around 6, effectively blowing an afternoon I had intended to spend getting work done. I can't wait to get back to the United States, where customer service exists.

But all was not lost. I now have a whole tray of tiramisu made, sitting in my fridge for tomorrow. Did you know that tiramisu literally means "pick-me-up" in Italian? Isn't that cool? So even if it takes them 6 hours to get it to you, you'll feel a little better, because at least you'll eventually have it.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Picked Up" Yazge

Dare le grazie

Wrong Turkey...

So in preparation for Turkey Day - the food, not the country - I went with Brooke this morning to the Mercato Centrale. Despite my vegetarian inclinations, I'm really excited about the prospect of roasting a whole "tacchino". We roamed the market at 8:00am, before our opera class, and found a guy that had turkeys in his little butcher case. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Ciao! I enjoy starting my mornings off by pricing poultry. How much are your turkeys?

Butcher McGee: Depends on the bird. The fatties cost more. How many people are you serving?

Me (to Brooke): bohh.... how many people are coming?

Brooke: A lot. Like, 15, but none of them eat turkey.

Me (to myself): Of course. Why wouldn't we roast a turkey for a crowd of vegetarians...

Me (to B McGee): Six to eight people. Maybe. I don't know. But can we pay now and get it on Thursday?

Butcher McGee: Pay me two euros now, and I'll put your name on this small turkey with my cool little butcher pen, that way I remember it's yours when you come back. Don't you want a cool little butcher pen? Of course you don't. You're a vegetarian. A stupid vegetarian who is roasting a turkey.

Regardless, I'm super excited about this turkey thing, especially since it's my first Thanksgiving away from the home. Somehow in my head a dead bird evokes precious time wpent with family. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about that...


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Tacchino-Killer" Yazge

La Grecia

Is it any less pathetic if it's in Greek???

Yes. That's right. I went all the way to Thessaloniki, Greece just so I could see New Moon. Not really. But we did see it. It's way better when there's a theater full of Greek teenagers to react to. They giggle and scream and squeal and clap like they're on uppers. It was such an experience that I wrote a sound poem about it on the flight back. A flight, by the way, that almost came plummeting out of the sky. The guy in front of us was deranged and kept banging his head against the window and putting his hand up as if he was going to pull the emergency hatch open. Legit crazy.

But without further ado, my Grecian Poem:

Dinner and a Movie

by the Ugly American

Rosé. Rosie. Roses.

All of the above.

Restaurant recommends rare recipe.

Steamin' stuffed squid.

Bottle bare before bill.

Stroll shore to see a show.

Gaggles of giggling girlies gone gaga.

Gawd...

Try to tolerate tween Twilight twitterings

Wine weacts wiff wafter.

Oops! Ouzo overboard!*

Why would yoooo watch whatever welse?

Greek gastronomy gleefully agrees!

My meatless mousaka moved me!

Vegan vamps vin!

*Should've shared shots shtory shwen we shleft the shore. Sho shorry.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Il Vampiro" Yazge

La Fanciulla del West

Saucy.

So in class the other day, we discussed an opera by Puccini: La Fanciulla del West. Our professore said it was based on a second-rate play by the American playwrite David Belasco, the quasi-original author of Madam Butterfly. It's a long story about how everyone back then thought it was cool to pervert a Japanese cultural tradition into sex trafficking, and then write about it. But now I'm rambling.

The point is that there were real guns and horses on stage. And the heroine, Minnie, had to keep a handle on a bunch of drunken miners. And she did it while packing heat. She's rough, and tough, and saves the man she loves - a Wild West bandit - by winning him in a game of poker (she cheats). Sexy. But it's funny, because in the middle of the opera, she gets her first kiss. She's like an early 20th century version of Drew Barrymore. Add all that with the fact that they yell "HULLO!" and "YEE-HAW!" every other line, you've got yourself one awesome opera. Our professore told us that some people try to count the times "HULLO" is said over the course of the show... I think he may have the imaginings of a brilliant drinking game. We're in the Wild Wild West afterall, right?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Yippee-kai-aye!" Yazge

La Cucina Università

Mmmmm.... beer bread.

So my old suitemate, Derrick, and some of his friends have launched a website for their Kollege Kitchen venture. As part of their entrepreneurship class, the Kollege-Kitch team was asked to design a webstore based on their common interests. After stewing on it for a while, they decided that "nothing binds us closer together than our love for food." Ain't it the truth! And thus, Kollege Kitchen was born. They sell cookbooks, kitchen gadgetry, and more! Not to mention that they have mini instructional cooking videos (above).

The best part about this culinary adventure (besides now having another YouTube channel to distract you getting work done) is that all of the proceeds go to Feed the Children, a relief organization that provides clothes, shelter, food, medicine and other necessities to those who are suffering because of war, famine, poverty, and natural disasters. Everybody wins!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Kitch-tastic" Yazge

Venezia

Venice the Menace: gondolas; me and my wifey Hannah; the entrance to La Fenice and a picture inside... where no pictures are allowed; San Marco exterior and icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark.

So almost a week later, I'm finally getting around to talk about it. Venice was wonderful. I can't believe I wasn't going to go... it was the perfect day. We started off just wandering around, got coffee, and the most amazing pastries. I don't know why the rest of Italy's been holding out on us, but Venice certainly didn't. Think of a cinnamon bun, but flakey instead of gooey, and then squish it, fill it with chocolate and top it with powdered sugar and chocolate chips. Fantastic.

Eventually we found our way to San Marco, the local Basilica. The majority of the artwork is Byzantine, and mysteriously found it's way to Venice. That's the nice way of putting it. The other way, is to say that it was savagely pillaged from an Orthodox church in Constantinople by the heinous crusaders. I was really excited to see the icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark next to each other. It both warmed my heart and made me miss my brother.

After San Marco, we made it to Il Teatro La Fenice, the Venetian opera house. Some crazy person burnt it down in 1999, so they had to rebuild it. The nice thing is that they got to restore everything to the condition when it the theater was first built! Plus electricity! You weren't supposed to take pictures, but since when have signs and people in ill-fitting vests ever stopped me? Never. That's when. Also, the whole rebuilding of La Fenice was such a big deal that last week it was referenced in a mock funeral for the city of Venice. Apparently the locals are leaving in droves (only 60,000 people live in the city proper). So they gave the city a funeral. And then set the casket on fire...? Inside was a flag with a phoenix on it. Symbolism. Performance art mingled with political protest. Lame and confusing? You decide.

Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I have some really good stuff planned for you while I'm gone. Now that I'm starting to take advantage of all the little tools embedded in my blog, you get posts even when I'm without internet access for the weekend! I promise to figure out other cool stuff too. But let's be real: it took me over 5 months just to figure out delayed posting. Don't expect too much more by next week.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Thessaloniki-bound" Yazge

Mal Scrittore

This is where I've been: distracted by pretty girls. 

Well, pretty girl. Thanks Hannah. Thanks a lot. Are you happy you kept me from blogging?

But really, we went to Venice on Sunday, and ever since I've gotten back I haven't really been able to motivate myself to type. I won't apologize, because that's something Julia Child told me never to do. Well, her book said it. To a lot of people. But I like to think she was speaking directly to me. She said to just grin and bare it, then do better next time. So here's what I've figured out: I can write posts ahead of time, and then have them scheduled to be posted at a later date/time. So even though I'll be in Greece without a computer, you can still read my lovely narrative! What those kids are doing with those computer-machines these days, I tell you.

I'm going to put off talking about Venice for now. I'm tired. I mean, really, I'm always tired. But I don't have class tomorrow afternoon. It was cancelled. So I'll type my fingers away tomorrow.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "meh" Yazge

La fine della Londra

Last bits of London: The National Theater; Liz Me and Big Ben; a church and cool statue; me being "The South Bank Lion"

I'm not really sure what much I have left to say about London, but I still had some fun pictures that I felt I needed to share. As soon as Facebook is done being stupid, I'll upload all the rest of my pictures there so you can peruse at your own leisure.

The only thing I feel I still need to talk about is the play I went to see one night at the National Theater. It was called "Mother Courage", the most recent incarnation of the Brecht play. It was really good, and the cast included the woman who played Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter movies (she was Mother Courage) and the guy who plays Dudley (who was her son again in the play!) It was really good, and even though the play is set during the Wars of Religion between Poland and Sweeden, there were a lot of really cool anachronisms that made it more relevant (and probably alluding to the war in Iraq). It's all about a woman, Mother Courage, who is torn between her love for her children and her love for making money off of war profiteering. The latter wins out.

But enough about London. I went to Modena today with a trip arranged through NYU. We got to have a real Balsamic Vinegar tasting, because apparently the stuff they sell in the stores is just a crappy reduction of the real thing. The stuff we saw today was over a hundred years old, and is passed down through families. They have a system of making it in barrels in their attic, and it takes 12 years from start to finish to make a decent batch. It's a lot thicker and has a MUCH stronger taste. You use drops, and sparingly too. This all happened at the house of an 83-year-old woman. She was spry and hilarious, and loved talking to us in Italian. She didn't speak a word of English. I really wanted to buy some to bring back to the family, but it's $60 for about 12 ounces. Sorry folks, but we'll make due with the store bought kind. Or start fermenting it in the basement. Your choice!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Balsamafied" Yazge

Il Cibo Inglese

Food (from top, down): sign for "Eat" restaurant... they know what they're talking about; my fish and chips; I LOVE ICE CREAM! ; lots of mushrooms; this weird vegetable that is really cool, but I don't know what it is.

I don't know why people think England has horrible food. I liked it. I could eat fish and chips every day of the week. It's fantastic. And jams and clotted creme? I know I already talked about that, but it's worth repeating. I found a recipe for clotted creme, and I'm definitely going to try it when I get home.

Oh, and Ice Cream Truck ice cream? It's custardy. Thick. Heaven. And when you get it in a chocolate covered cone, you've officially made the best decision of your life. Hands down. Just look at my face. It's as if I'm 10 years old again. Probably why I was a very large child...

Also, the markets (for the most part) are awesome. There's a billion different types of vegetables, so many that I didn't even know what some of them are. Like the weird spirally green thing above? BUT! Be forewarned! You will get robbed blind. Literally. Someone stole my Flip video camera while I was buying salmon. I knew I smelled something fishy... Yup. I went there. But the joke is on the idiot that thought he was getting a fully functioning camera. The battery on that camera was crap. So there!

As a result of losing that camera, I've lost all video footage of Paris and most of London. I took some more on my normal camera, but it's not the same. I'll still work on piecing something together, but it's not going to be Wafflefest quality. Sorry! Oh, and I'm shaving tomorrow morning. I still feel like I have one more London post in me, but I don't have it in me to keep this much scruff.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Soon-to-be-Scruff-Shavin'" Yazge

La Torre di Londra

Lots of things at the Tower of London (from top down): White Tower, Tower Bridge, awesome sign, contemporary guard, old-timey guard.

Oh the Tower of London. It's such a peaceful place... now. I got there right as the tower opened, and there weren't many people around. It was nice to walk around and learn about torture and executions, and top it all off with a nice treacle tart.

I would have taken pictures of the Crown Jewels, but they wouldn't let me. Sad day. I don't understand why not. It's not like I'm going to go home and use my own world's largest diamond to make an even better one... although, you know, I just might. To prove how stupid it is that you can't take pictures. I also wasn't allowed to take pictures in the White Tower (which is the building that you think of when you hear "The Tower of London", the tower 'proper'). That was almost more upsetting. There was an exhibit on called "Henry VIII: Dressed to Kill". Perfect name. I was never convinced that we ditched the wives because they didn't give him viable sons. I was convinced it was because he didn't find the right... *cough*man*cough*.... woman. Why else would he be dressed to kill? Because he's FAB-U-LOUUUS! But really the exhibit was all about his suits of armor, which was really cool. It was put together by the History Channel. Though I was upset to find that not a single actor from the Showtime series The Tudors were on display. Foul move.

My Breakfast

When I got tired of looking at things, I decided I was ready to start eating things. So convenient that they have a little cafe in the Tower. Where else would the prisoners have high tea? I tried my first treacle tart, which is now by far my favorite type of tart. I also got a scone with clotted cream and jam. You just have to. I'm pretty sure it's British Law. I didn't want to get thrown into the tower. It's fun for a while, but I'm pretty sure it'd get a bit gloomy after a while...

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Treacle Tart" Yazge

I Musei Britanici

Me in front of the Rosetta Stone... replica.

British Museum: lobby; Buddhist statue

Museum of Natural History: big-o-saur

So I did lots of museuming while I was in England (and yes, museuming is now a verb. I museum, you museum, she museums, etc.) Since Liz had class every morning, I was left to my own devices. So naturally, I took myself out on little morning-dates, all of which included Starbucks. I know it's gross, but they don't make portable, sip-able coffee in Italy. And also, because I'm both a cheap date and just cheap in general, I took myself to the free museums.

The first one was the British Museum, which was HUGE. It's probably around the same size as the Met, and definitely smaller than the Louvre, but I wasn't at all familiar with it. Perhaps that's why it felt bigger. There was a really odd mix of art too. Eastern religious art, Greek ruins, Mummies, Mexican prints, Islamic art, Ancient Mayan sculptures, and a room full of clocks. Just want to throw it out there that Mummies are creepy. I'm not afraid that they're going to come to life. I'm afraid that some day someone will think it's appropriate to put my dead body on display. I don't know. I just don't find it appropriate. Call me old fashioned, but I believe the dead should stay 6 feet under.

I also went to the Museum of Natural History. If there had been a museum like that near me when I was a kid, I would have been there every day. My inner child decided to play for an hour in the dinosaur exhibit. They even had a robotic T-Rex! The architecture was really cool too. Very Harry Potter. I just wanted to steal it. Oh, and they had this weird "the history of the earth" type exhibit (lofty no? trying to tell the entire history of earth?) And there was a statue that I believe she be retitled "Momma Yazge sans Her Morning Coffee". See below:

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Museuming" Yazge

Adesso, Inghilterra

Above: my wonderful hostesses... with the mostestes?

Below: my wonderful reaction to the Middle Eastern baked goods.

So I'm finally doing it. I'm going to talk about London. I've taken some time, reflected on it, talked about it with my therapist, and I think it's finally the right time to start sharing my experience with others. It's the last of the 12 steps to tourist recovery.

The day I got in, I split with my travel companions and headed off to Liz's apartment by Hyde Park. I was hungry, but Liz wasn't so much. To compromise, we went to high tea since it was around 4:00 anyway. For the record, I'm kind of upset no one has ever dragged me to high tea before. There's lots of tea, finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream (oh, I'll get there), and tiramisu with other delicious chocolate desserts. What's not to love?! And it was only 12 pounds. Like, British Pounds... not American weight units. You get what I mean. But on to the clotted cream (I promised). Apparently it's made by condensing normal creme, and we all know how much I love normal creme. It gives butter a run for it's money.

That night Liz and her friend Sam had to go see a show, which was sold out. We grabbed some awesome Middle Eastern pastries (see photos above) and split ways. The girls went to their show, and I went to the pub across the street to watch the soccer match that was on instead. It was awesome. Think about what you imagine a London pub to be like during a soccer match, and then put me in the middle of it with a Guinness and a smile. That's exactly what it was like. AND I made a friend! We talked all about soccer, and what I should do while I was in London, and other places we both should travel. When we were talking about the US, he said he'd been to two places: Miami and.... wait for it... CINCINNATI. I was very confused, until he explained that he had friends that lived there. I mean, who doesn't love Cincinnati? It's like the Atlanta of Ohio, plus they have the Bengals - a football team that you can only feel pity for. But not exactly a tourist destination.

All in all, I was very happy with my first night in Londontown. Very swinging. Oh, and just so you all know, I haven't shaved in almost a week. I'm not going to shave until I've finished talking about London. I was inspired by my mountain man experience in Cinque Terre. Plus it'll really light a fire under me to finish writing about my fall break. This much scruff isn't a good look on me.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Mountain-faced" Yazge

Le Cinque Terre e il treno che non esiste

This is how stunningly gorgeous my yesterday was...

Cinque Terre is stunningly gorgeous. Not to be confused with Terre Haute, which looks like a butt. My apologies to everyone that still lives there. Terre Haute's motto is "A Level Above". My response: above what?

But I digress. I think in order for you to understand how fantastic Cinque Terre is, I should share some more photos. Then I'll discuss how much I hate Italian workers' unions and their ability to turn a two and a half hour return trip into an almost seven hour fiasco...

As you can see, I was very mountainous and victorious, while the Terre were very beautiful and stuff.

But yes, we were hit by the strikes. It's a good thing Jamie and I decided to stop at the train station before attempting to explore for a second day. The lady told us (all in Italian, which - I would still like to stress - we understood perfectly) that there was a strike and the only guaranteed train out of Cinque Terre was leaving in 15 minutes. That train was going in the direction we wanted, but not to Firenze. She also told us there was no guarantee we'd get a train out of the town that the train finally stopped in.

To make it easy on y'all, we spent a total of 7 hours in transit, and got on and off about 3 trains before finding one that actually left the station for home. Apparently the strike was called by some syndicate called L'Orso, or The Bear. I'm convinced they all got tired and stayed home. Here's how I envision this strike to have started:

Bad News Bear #1: Dude. I'm tired. Not hibernation tired, but significantly tired enough that I don't think I want to conduct a train today. I'd rather stay home and eat lots of honey.
Bad News Bear #2: Me either. We could phone in sick?
Bad News Bear #1: Come on. Bears don't get sick. When's the last time you saw a bear sneeze?
Bad News Bear #2: Good point.... Strike?
Bad News Bear #1: Strike.
Bad News Bear #2: I'll go tell the guys.

Who hires bears to drive trains anyway? Dumb.


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "The Bear-er of Bad News" Yazge

Cinque Terre!

Tucked between the mountains and the sea. That's where I'll be.

(hehe, that rhymed)

I'm getting so lax with writing on here! Ah! Mi dispiace. I'd like to say it's because I have too much of a life, and my busy social schedule is keeping me away from my computer. But we'd all know that'd be a bold-faced lie. On the bright side, thanks to the time difference, I can still post today and tomorrow even though I'm about to leave on an overnight trip to Cinque Terre! (Not Terre Haute, as evidenced in the picture above)

But Matt, what'd I do yesterday? I'm glad you asked. Nothing. And it was brilliant. I went for a nice run in the cold, and by nice I mean it made me very hungry for the rest of the day. I cleaned up around the apartment for a little bit; wrote some postcards; watched an the opera Don Carlo on campus; made some more pumpkin soup and spent the evening hanging out over at Hannah's place. With all the traveling I've been doing, days like yesterday are rare. Usually I'm up at the butt crack of dawn, trying to remember what I needed to pack the night before and making sure everyone else has their e-tickets and passports. It's so nice that we get to take the train to Cinque today.

So, I'll try to find something interesting in these next two days. You do the same, and we'll rendezvous here in 48 hours. Aaaaaand BREAK!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "delle Terre" Yazge

Fiorentina ha vinto!!!

All he wants is a hug...

Last night we went to the Fiorentina game. It was a Champions League match against Debrecen? or Decebren? Or Excedrin? Some Hungarian team (that I'm sure my Romanian great-grandmother would spit on). The point is that last night was a huge game, because Fiorentina's win (which was huge, 5-2) put them just one point behind the group leader, Lyon. And we were there! Like, 20 feet off the field! We were less than five feet away from the players while they were doing warm-ups. It was awesome.

It's also worth noting that American pro-sports fans have NOTHING on the Europeans. The entire curve of the stadium was packed with fans dressed in purple, fans that never stopped chanting. They were all in perfect unison too. We were really confused as to how they were so in sync, until we saw that they literally had someone leading the cheers. A cheerleader if you will. He was standing up on one of the guardrails and yelling stuff out to them. There were flags, and scarves, and horns, and all other sorts of awesomeness. We all tried chanting along with them, but we didn't know the words. So we just bounced and clapped a lot. The Italians around us found that pretty amusing.

But the highlight of the evening was 16 minutes in, when I got to see Adrian Mutu (pictured above - midfielder for Fiorentina, striker for the Romanian National Team) score off a header. It was BEAUTIFUL. Perfectly timed, right into the back of the net. All he needs to do now is get the court to settle his pending breach of contract charges, and he's good as gold! Really, I don't care if he used cocaine. He's still my hero.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Fiorentino" Yazge

Pioggia Universale

What today was like...

I'm not ready to talk about London. I'm too lazy. But I thought I could channel the London aura and talk about the rain. You can tell my ability as a writer has diminished considerably when I'm stuck talking about the weather.

The day started with wet clothes. Before I even went outside. The washing machine hates me and my clothing, and has decided that it shouldn't spin dry my clothes at all. While I was in class, the cleaning people made my roommates take my clothes off the drying rack because they were dripping on the floor. Apparently the cleaners said that it would leak through to the apartment below us. For the record, that makes no sense at all, because our floors are tiled. So instead of questioning the flawed logic, my clothes ended up piled in the bottom of the shower, and then the sink. On the bright side, the sink had just been cleaned. Currently my clothes are undergoing their second wash in 24 hours.

All day it rained. On my walk to school. On my walk between buildings at school. During pilates. After pilates. By the by, there were only 3 of us at pilates today, which meant that the instructor could set her mat between us and correct us. Which means that I wasn't allowed to slack off, and my entire core is sore. I decided to go to the super market on my way home, and as I was making it from the store to my apartment, the clouds opened up and the heavens unleashed their fury on me. Baguettes aren't nearly as delicious when covered in rain water. Oh, and I found mussels on sale. Prize to the person that suggests the best recipe.

So now, to bring my day full circle, I need to go shower. Hope you're staying dry.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Water-logged" Yazge

La Gioconda

Mona.

So the Louvre was fun. We spent so much time there... even taking into consideration how crazy huge that museum is. I also took this picture of my lady Mona intentionally with lots of space around it. It stresses how small the painting actually is. And I'm calling her out. I don't think she's actually smiling. I'm convinced it's more of a grimace. She had a wedgie and couldn't fix it because she had to be still for the portrait. That's a much more believable story. Women weren't happy during the Renaissance. Feminine mystique? Phooey.

I really wish I had the energy or creativity to write anything more. Maybe tomorrow I'll move on to London?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Giocondo" Yazge