GLEEEEE!

Because "Glee" is the same in all languages!

I'm SO proud of the Italians for taking to Glee. The premier of the first episode was on Christmas Day, and then like they did in the US, they're going to roll out the full first season later (January 21st). This officially combines two of my favorite things: Italy and Glee! I'd like to thank Mark Kania for posting the link for the Italian TV commercials to Facebook. And I guess I should thank Tracey Lucas for having a Facebook wall where those videos could be posted?

Oh, and for everyone State-side, you need to go buy the first season of Glee. Stat. It just hit stores today, and I bought it this morning after I got my drivers license. (It's a long story for another day, but the Cliffnotes version is that I wasn't a licensed driver for a stretch there, and now I am again.) I suggest you put it on very loud, and sing and dance along in your underwear. Unless you're my parents. And then you should just appreciate it in silence. Fully clothed silence.

Below is a video of an AMAZING viral marketing gig they did for the premier of the show in Rome. It's kind of like the Sound of Music one in that train station in Belgium. Definitely worth a watch. Also, anyone interested in recreating this - only better - should get ahold of me (and a choreographer) ASAP.






Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Glee-full!" Yazge

I giovani e gli irrequieti

I do. Oh boy, do I do...

So more hilarity ensued today at the gym. Have you ever been on a treadmill when something utterly ridiculous comes on the TVs that are on the wall in front of you? And you start laughing like a moron? And almost fall off the treadmill because you're laughing so hard and not paying attention to the rapidly moving conveyor belt beneath you? The Young and the Restless have never looked so good. Or dangerous.  Or Bold and Beautiful... wait. Different show.

I couldn't even really tell much of what was going on. There were subtitles on the TV, so I could read it... but there was a delay. So when the old lady was talking to her daughter, who we later find out isn't her biological daughter, I was reading the dialogue between the baby-faced male lead and his poorly makeup-ed baby mama on the plane that was plummeting from the sky. Apparently her daughter is still alive. Though I didn't need subtitles to figure that one out. He had to write it down on a conveniently-placed piece of paper, because apparently actresses with too much makeup can't hear things when their in a crashing plane.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "The Bold and Restless" Yazge

Non è simplice...

I'd explain, but it's complicated...

So on my way home from church today, I get a call from my dad saying that he's at the gas station down the street, where my aunt and grandmother were in a stalled car. They were supposed to leave today, but apparently their car thought otherwise. On the bright side it meant more time with both of them and a trip to the movies.

We decided to go see It's Complicated. First off, Meryl is amazing. No wonder this role got a Golden Globe nomination. She is one of the most versatile actors I can think of. Not only can she play any role, but she can run the whole gamut of emotions in a single role. In It's Complicated she plays the mom, the old divorcee, stoned, a dating woman, all of it. I'm pretty convinced they actually smoked weed for the shoot, because she was way too hilarious to have been sober.   All in all it was a great story, mainly about how complicated love is... hence the title. I really appreciated that at no point during the movie did it turn trite or cliché.

Finally, a huge nod to John Krasinski, who played the son-in-law. He was really funny without being Jim from The Office. It's nice to see that he (and the rest of the cast) could keep up with the Streep!


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Complicated" Yazge

Si pensi di poter ballare?

This should have been the winner... Jakob.

So, I realize that I am WAY behind on the cultural bandwagon, but I just need to discuss So You Think You Can Dance for a minute...

My sister got me addicted 3 days ago, and we tore through half a season on our DVR since then. Granted this is coming like 2 weeks too late, but I'd like to file a formal complaint with "them", because there is no way in HELLLLLLLL that that Russell moron should have won. No way. The guy can't do anything except fist pump... Snooki from Jersey Shore could out dance him. Pathetic. And can talk about his supposed "knee injury"? Notice how once he was announced the winner, he was miraculously better? Yeah, apparently when you get an undeserved victory, the Baby Jesus miraculously gives you a new knee to go with it. If you give a moose a muffin...

The real winner here (besides the show, dance, and America, according to the cracked out judges) is Jakob. First of all, he spells his name with a "k". Automatic win. Second, he can actually dance. All of it. He doesn't think he can dance. He can dance. And he's classy... he would never rip his shirt off and fall down on his knees, scream random noises, scream about his many girlfriends, and refuse to get off the floor even after the host repeatedly asked him. Unlike Russell. Just saying.

You just wait, FOX. You'll be getting a strongly worded letter from the Yazge siblings. Also, Cat Deeley, watch your botoxed back. Baby Lexi got some words to share with you.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "Furioso" Yazge

Il Natale è qui

COOOOOKIES!

It's been a loooong day. It all started with my mom waking me up and 30 minutes later me driving her to the store. We braved Dellalo's, the AMAZING Italian deli/grocer/bakery here. It almost compares to Italy itself... almost. We ended up buying something like $50 worth of different cheeses. Insane. And then my mom has the nerve to ask if we needed any more.

Got home, baked some Colac - traditional Romanian egg bread. Went to the gym for an hour, came home and showered, ate, then made a batch of tiramisu. Cleaned the kitchen, started cleaning my room. I've found that cleaning and getting organized are two completely different things. Cleaning actually gets things clean. Organizing makes everything horrifically messier, and things only start to get clean if you have enough energy to see the process the whole way through. I haven't finished yet, but I'm hoping maybe tomorrow?

Oh, and then I had to make Christmas cookies, because the dough I made the other night was going to go bad. I feel so domesticated. Lex was supposed to decorate them, but she's passed out on the floor in the living room. We're watching The Holiday. The best movie ever, basically. So now I'm going to go pass out in my mess of a room, and hopefully wake up early enough to clean it before the family gets here tomorrow!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "the Christmas Elf" Yazge

Più Cinema, Per Sempre

Ooooh... blue.

I'm a sucker for shiny things and bright colors. So you can guess how much I enjoyed Avatar. The graphics were beyond stunning, and as soon as I got over being ill from the 3D glasses, I felt like I was in the movie. The world they constructed was phenomenally gorgeous, and the story gave off such a Mother-Earth-tree-hugger vibe that I wanted to go live in the Amazon.

However, there were a few flaws. I understood the whole parallel to US military involvement around the world, but they took it a bit far at times. One of the characters even says things like "shock and awe" or "fight terror with terror". Don't get me wrong; I sympathize with the overall message: don't rape and pillage native peoples for energy and stuff. But it got a tad Glenn Beck at times. Granted he would have been arguing that the humans should have been killing every tree-hugger in sight, but that's beside the point. Like Glenn Beck, the movie had moments where you didn't care what the message was because the delivery is so distasteful that you just wanted to turn it off.

Which brings me to the gym. While I still had a throbbing headache after the movie, I'm pretty sure that Glenn Beck being on the TV while I was on the treadmill only made things worse. I couldn't move without feeling like my head was going to explode. My cure? Tea, pad thai, and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Tree-hugging" Yazge

Zucchero e Cognac

Is she:

A) Filled with the Joy of cooking?

B) On a sugar high?

C) Hopped up on cognac?

D) All of the above

So I was bored this afternoon and started thumbing through my mom's copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking (MtAoFC) hoping to find something to make for Christmas morning. My immediate thought was fish, but right before the section labelled "poisson" is a passage on crêpes. Apparently, according to Julia, you can make this monstrosity of a crêpe tower by layering them with different fillings. One of them involves lots of sugar, creme, and cognac. Very exciting. I always knew I loved Julia, but now that I know she's a fan of the booze, she's just move ahead of Lady Fonda on my list of favorite oldies but goodies.

But as far as Christmas morning, I've settled on Gâteau de Crêpes à la Florentine. Fitting, no? What with all the living in Florence for three and half months this year... It involves layering crêpes with cream cheese, spinach, and mushroom filling. If it sounds gross at first, just think of it as a huge French lasagna. Bon Appetit!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Full o' Crêpe" Yazge

I lipidi e come sono grasso

This is how I feel...

So I realize that The Ugly American is on the verge of cardiac arrest, but - no offense to those actually in cardiac arrest - I may be soon also. I have seriously ballooned since coming home.

When I first got home, I thought things were going great. I got my gym membership, I stocked the fridge with veggies, fruit, and organic skim milk, there's Kashi overflowing from the pantry, and I still fit into all my clothes after putting them through their first drier cycle in months. But then things started to go downhill.

I discovered the stock piles of ice cream out in the garage freezer. Only 5 minutes after leaving the gym on Wednesday, I stopped and got double chocolate turtle custard.... effectively blowing my 5 mile run. This morning? I ate 7 cinnamon buns. It's bad news bears. As I was getting into the shower today I noticed that I have a visibly protruding pocket of fat on my lower abs, a "pancia" as they call it in Italian. 

Now I realize that this is no reason to go alerting the media, and Taylor is probably rolling her eyes at me as she reads this, using choice words like "manorexic" mingled with four letter words. But after being able to eat anything I wanted in Europe, then coming home and having such a stark, fast reaction to the difference in food/activity, it's really disturbing. To play things safe, I think we need to put a padlock on the ice cream drawer in the freezer.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Pavarotti-ponch" Yazge

Mia Sorella!

Shmappy Berfday!

So yesterday was baby Lex's birthday. I don't know why I call my sister "baby Lex", because she just turned 16. "That's just something I do," as she puts it.

Anyway, my present to her was a 30% stake in my car. She's allowed to drive it while I'm away at school, but by no means is she the controlling owner. And as she now has some of the privileges of being part-owner of the Jeep, she will also have certain duties (*cough*beingmydesignateddriver*cough*) to go along with it.

My other gift to her was allowing her to let me get sucked into another mindless vampire show. I already watch True Blood, but now she's got me watching Vampire Diaries. That's right. I've caught the VD. It's a horribly written show with a trite plot and stereotypical character development, but it's mindless garbage about "teenage" vampires, aka exactly what I need after a long semester. Plus, my family is from Transylvania afterall. I'll let you know how it goes. Ian Somerhalder is in it, so it can't be totally bunk.


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Vamp-vatchin" Yazge

I miei venti dolari

This is back in my pocket.

So, a week or so ago I told y'all about my experience with a little company called Boingo wireless. In short, I got charged $20 for an hour's worth of wireless without being told I was going to be charged, and then I was mad about it. I then shared how a women from Boingo's customer service department got ahold of me. Well, after some discussion, they have graciously refunded my $20! And really, what's better than getting back $20? I mean, getting back $50, but I don't think that was in the cards...

It's nice to know that there are companies out there who are willing to look out for their customers. I was seriously considering signing up for their monthly service, mainly because it gives you wireless in every Starbucks in the US. It's very tempting, but then I remembered that Starbucks coffee tastes like dirt, and all my favorite coffee houses in Manhattan have free wireless. But if you like drinking caffeinated dirt, you should consider getting an account with Boingo!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Bucks Back" Yazge

La Palestra

Get ready to eat your heart out Janie, I just got a gym membership...

Oh it feels so good to be a member at a gym again. And the lady who I signed up with was so nice. I was supposed to have my school ID since it was a membership for college students home for the holidays, but she let me sign up without it. Of course there was some witty banter back and forth, especially when I forgot how to write the date the American way... MO/DA/YEAR.

This was also a problem when I went to get a new Social Security Card. For the record, I didn't lose it, my parents did. But not the point. So I mosey through the front door, and there's an 5,000 year old security guard standing there. He asks me very abruptly if I was carrying any concealed weapons, knives, lighters, etc. When I answered no, he told me to turn my phone off. They take security very seriously at the SS Office of Greensburg, Pennsylvania. I really think it's to protect the workers from themselves. If I had to go to that office every day I'd probably want to shoot myself too. Anyway, I had the same day/month problem there too. The guy probably thought I was a moron. At least I'll be a skinny moron after my membership at the gym!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Lean Routine" Yazge

Alla fine, alla casa

Gotcha!

So I'm home, and I'd love to talk about how much I'm enjoying it and Christmas and Glee and blah blah blah.... but I think that this needs to be shared first:

SOMEONE PUNCHED BERLUSCONI IN THE FACE. You thought it was bad when that dude threw a shoe at Bush? This guy all out through a punch at the Prime Minister, while holding what witnesses said was a replica of the Duomo. Well, if God can't punch you in the face, I think this is the closest you're going to get!


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Bashed in the Face" Yazge

Non è la fine, solo è l'inizio.

Tomorrow is the last time I open my front door to this...

AH! It's over! I can't believe I've spent over 100 days in Italy. In less than 24 hours I'll be taking off for JFK, the second of three flights I'll take to get back to the 'burgh. I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of being in transit more than 20 hours, and you bet that I'm going to need my "nervous pills" to handle that many flights in such a short period of time.

I was trying to figure out what I could say to give some sense of finality, of bringing everything together. I'd like to blame my lack of words on the fact that I still have two finals left to take before I leave campus today. It's really more because I don't have it in me to be sappy and inspirational. Yes, I'm going to get back to Greensburg (a cultural wasteland in comparison to Europe) and be happy to see my family. It's going to be hard to cope with the fact that I can't find amazing gelato, or jetset to Paris for the weekend, or speak Italian to anyone, well speak it and have anyone understand me. But - in typical Ugly American style - I'd like to point out the things that will make my transition to the US easier. If there's anything I've learned from Oprah and Dr. Phil, it's that pointing out the flaws in your relationship will help make the breakup process faster and less regrettable:

1. Gym Membership: I will no longer be a lard-ass. I will be on a treadmill at least every other day, doing core exercises, and hopefully lifting weights in an attempt to trick people into thinking I have an upper body.
2. Grocery Shopping: Any plant that grows in the world will be at my fingertips. Kashi will return to it's rightful place in my diet. Skim milk will exist again. Perhaps most importantly, I'll be able to eat real peanut butter again.
3. A Real Home: TV. American TV. A bed that isn't just a mattress held up by four wooden pegs, in a bedroom I don't have to share - that has a bathroom that I don't have to share. A fully functional kitchen. Heat. Adequate lighting = no more reading by candlelight. Functioning wireless.
4. Texting: I didn't realize how much I enjoyed my cell phone until I didn't have it. I miss being able to shoot off a text when I see something ridiculously hysterical. I'll be able to get ahold of people now without having to worry about surcharges, unreasonable rates, or time zones.
5. Famiglia e Amici! Of course the best part... I guess, right? I kid, I kid. I'm very excited to be home with everyone.

So what's on the docket for this evening? Glad you asked. After I finish my last final, I'm off to throw the last few things in my bags, then out for my last authentic Italian dinner. After that, I think we'll probably pop open a bottle of champagne in the piazza, and sit around enjoying the Christmas tree and the carousel, perhaps dancing to street music. With any luck I may end up going out for one last night at the discotheque, only to make it back to the apartment with enough time for a brief nap before waking up at 6am to head to the airport! It's going to be a long 36 hours until I finally make it home. Say a little prayer for me! Talk to you all soon!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Homeward Bound" Yazge

P.S. - You can bet I won't be posting from the airports tomorrow. No way I'm getting charged another $20!

Che posso fare?

THE SAGA CONTINUES!

Some time yesterday, I received the following comment on the blog post in which I discuss my horrible experience with Boingo:

"I’m sorry to hear that you had a frustrating experience with us. We want you to be happy with Boingo, and we certainly don’t try to sneak anything past our customers. (We love puppies!)

Would you please send me an email at lsanyal at boingo dot com with your account information? We’ll take a look into your account and try to determine what happened. I’d definitely like to help resolve this concern for you. Thank you for your candid feedback!"


First off, I'm SHOCKED that they have someone scanning the internet for consumer complaints. This leads me to believe one of two things: 1) Boingo is seriously committed to customer service, or 2) There's a bigger problem that's causing them to put out fires before it becomes a bigger public issue. So after doing some digging around the internet, I found out that apparently the e-mail address is legit. It's on their Facebook Page, their Twitter, and several third party consumer complaint websites. So I decided to send lsanyal an e-mail trying to confirm that it is in fact a Boingo employee and not some random person perusing the internet trying to cause me more trouble. Also, I apologized for the puppy comment. That was a low blow. Funny that she mentioned it though. Gold star.


Will keep you updated.




Ciao Bella!


Matteo "Puppy 'poligizer" Yazge

Uno scherzo con Nuova Luna

Disgracing Vampires everywhere...

So on behalf of Transylvanians everywhere, I'd like to call out the Twilight series. That's not how we do it. We don't suck the blood out of people. We may slowly kill our family members with intolerably boring stories or peculiarly horrible guilt trips, but never once do we pierce the skin. We leave that to the Hungarians.

Anyway, I was wandering around the Italian YouTube site, and I found this video. Even if you don't understand Italian, please watch it. It's hilarious. Huge spoof, great physical comedy.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Vampiro" Yazge

Ti Amo, Lucy

You got some 'splain-in' to do!

I was trying to avoid studying for my Business Law final, and I found this video. Apparently Lucy came to Italy too. I don't know why I wasn't offered to stomp grapes with an old peasant woman, but I'd like to think that my feet could do some serious damage. Maybe work in some choreography too. Anyway, enjoy the clip! I did!


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Loves Lucy" Yazge

Michele, Davide, e Galileo

He's starting to let himself go...

So my apologies. Apparently there are five of you that read my little stories - 6 if I include my mother. That's just judging by yesterday's comments and such. Google analytics keeps telling me that there are roughly 15-30 people who visit every day, depending on what I write about/how often I write. But I think it's just lying to me so I don't feel bad.

Regardless! I've been trying to soak up the last bits of Florence while I'm here. I went to La Galleria dell'Academia on Friday, and started off by perusing some old religious panels. I quickly got bored. If it's not Byzantine, I'm not really impressed, and even then I can only take so many Madonnas with Child before it becomes monotonous. So I wandered into the next gallery for something completely different: Robert Maplethorpe. I know people think his photos are distasteful and pornographic, but when you look at them in the context of what he was trying to accomplish, it's completely different. (Click here to see selections) It was all about form, and displaying real human bodies that can live up to the standard set forth in sculpture and other forms of art. It was about all of us being able to be just as beautiful as the David - without photoshopping him into obesity, like above. Anyway, I really enjoyed the exhibit.

As soon as I left the Maplethorpe exhibit, I ran right into the David. It took my breath away. It's SO life-like. I don't even know how to describe it, except to say that I kept waiting for him to reach out and pick me up in the palm of his hand, that's how alive he seemed.

Yesterday, in keeping with my goal of marinading myself in Florence, I went to La Basilica della Santa Croce. I just went because everyone told me that I should. They all failed to mention that Galileo, Michelangelo, Machiavelli, Rossini, and Marconi are all entombed there. Go figure. Not exactly religious icons - in fact Galileo was convicted of heresy and put under house arrest by the Pope (unjustly, but still). It was odd to see all these cultural icons in the church. Awesome, but odd. Especially since I've walked past the church a hundred times and had no idea until yesterday that it housed some of the greatest individuals in Italian history.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Sculpted di Dio" Yazge

CENTO!!!

100 posts, and I'm still this adorable...

Yup! This is my 100th post! It feels like a lot more, but that could be because I'm tired/my brain is threatening to pack its bags and leave.

It's really good timing for my 100th post, the end of my semester in Italy. An end of an era, really. Let's take a look back and remember the wonderful topics we've discussed:

Travel: Paris, London, Italy, beyond...

Crazy People: Oprah, Lindsay Lohan, Berlusconi, and more!

Food: Turkey, Waffles, Risotto...

Music: Opera, British Pop Stars, and singing nuns...

I've also come the realization (after 100 posts, and roughly 200 days) that you can't start off famous. That's too easy, and not quite as fun. I'd again like for all of us to look to the great Kathy Griffin for inspiration. You must claw, bite, scratch, and shamelessly self-promote yourself to the top. Publicity stunts, gimmicks, and first amendment lawyers are all essential to this process, and I fully intend to take full advantage of the fact that I (normally) live in a metropolitan area that hosts all the country's major networks. So when you see my mug shot on the 6 o'clock news, you can say "Oh, well I was reading his blog before it was cool." Thank you, all 4 of you, who read this and understand the necessary steps of obscurity and infamy that eventually lead to fame. This is for you. Well, really it's about me getting famous, but you get the idea.

Now get excited for all the good stuff to come! Here's just a list of some of the things you can look forward to in the coming days, weeks, and months:

• Christmas Countdown!
• My reintegration into the US (shame-based Wal-mart excursions and all)
• Classic American Movie marathons
• Exploring the outer boroughs
• World Cup anticipation
• Matt Looks for a Job: an in depth analysis of procrastination at its best
• Ridiculous videos possibly featuring Baby Lexi
• and MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!

Did that get you excited enough? Good. Because it should.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Centurian" Yazge

Wireless Diavolo

This company is Satan... just look at the red.

SO! I was in the airport on my way home from Paris last weekend, and miraculously there was an wireless channel that was open. It didn't require a password or anything. Go figure. So I was like "dude, I'm totally using this". Mala idea.

This morning I opened my e-mail to find one from boingo, an evil, conniving company that probably kicks puppies. PUPPIES! I got charged $20 for less than an hour's worth of wireless! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I'm seeing red right now. I'm debating whether or not I should call and complain. I'm sure they're going to fall back on some fine print nonsense. I used their service, as in actually signed up for and paid for and hour's worth of service when I was in JFK. They told me how much it was going to be, and showed me the bill before I clicked the "I agree" button. But there was nothing like that on my screen. I doubt they'll agree to give me any money back... Bastards.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Wire- (and $20)-less" Yazge

Nove

Awesomeness in movie form.

This film, based on the original Broadway musical, isn't slated to come out until late January... but that hasn't stopped me from watching the trailer 20 times over, hoping that the next it will be the actual movie. I'm not sure if it's my newly-developed affinity for Italy, or my overwhelming desire to take Dame Judy Dench out for a night on the town. Either way, I'm anxious for this movie to come out. Anyone want to go with?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Cinema Italiano" Yazge

Avviciniamo la fine

Thessaloniki gave a whole new meaning to the word "portly"

So close to the end of the semester. I'm only in Italy for another 10 days, and I'm trying to find the right way to describe the cocktail of emotions that I'm feeling right now. I'm pretty sure it's a vodka-Red Bull. The vodka, clearly European, is making me sleepy. I'm trying to make it to the end of semester and get everything done, get my A's, etc. But it also make me want to hang out. I know I'm going to miss Europe a lot. Firenze and Italy as well, but moreso the general idea of Europe. There's still so much I haven't seen. I was going to go to Rome this weekend, but after looking at my credit card statement this morning, I've decided that maybe a relaxing final weekend in Florence might be a better idea. I never made it to Spain. I won't even fly through Germany, nor did I get anywhere near Scandinavia. Even after going to Paris twice in the course of a month, I feel like I've only just begun to see it, let alone the rest of France.

But then the Red Bull kicks in. I'm really really REALLY ready to get back to the family, and to a full-sized bed, and the convenience of life in America. Oh, and functioning plumbing. I didn't share this earlier, but on Thanksgiving night the city of Florence shut off the water. For the ENTIRE CITY. They said there was something that needed fixing and that it was midnight so that seemed like a good time. Then yesterday I get a call from Jamie while I'm at work that our bathroom had flooded. Our ceiling was leaking. I'd like to take a moment to point out that we live on the third floor of a five floor building, and our bathroom has no external walls... so despite what the Italian plumber may have told us, it was not due to the torrential rain outside. If it was, the Italians need to learn a thing or two about masonry.

Posting will most likely be sporadic for the next week or so. It's finals time, and I'm lucky to even be awake right now. Those of you who are used to talking to me on a daily basis know that I disappear during midterms and finals. But while I'm gone, I'll give you a topic: What should my blog focus on when I get back to the States?

Discuss.


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Vodka-Red Bull" Yazge

Uffa! E ancora non c'e un uccello!

I could use a real pick-me-up right about now...

So I'm exhausted. What's new? After sleeping 20 minutes past my alarm, and stopping by the grocery store to pick up the last of the ingredients for tomorrow's dinner, I decided I should get "un taglio", a haircut. It's been a while and I was looking fairly gross. More so than usual. On my way to the barber shop, I realized what a wonderful day it was outside. The leaves were changing, the sky was blue, the river looked less polluted than it normally does. I started to get a little verklempt, realizing how much I'm going to miss Italy when I leave in 2 weeks. That was before my haircut...

What should have been a quick walk across the river and back took over THREE HOURS! The woman told me that I'd have to wait an hour, hardly enough time to go back home and accomplish anything with my life. So I wandered around in the beautiful weather for a while and went back. I then proceeded to wait another 45 minutes before I was allowed to sit in the back and wait 10 more minutes for someone to shampoo my hair. I didn't get back until around 6, effectively blowing an afternoon I had intended to spend getting work done. I can't wait to get back to the United States, where customer service exists.

But all was not lost. I now have a whole tray of tiramisu made, sitting in my fridge for tomorrow. Did you know that tiramisu literally means "pick-me-up" in Italian? Isn't that cool? So even if it takes them 6 hours to get it to you, you'll feel a little better, because at least you'll eventually have it.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Picked Up" Yazge

Dare le grazie

Wrong Turkey...

So in preparation for Turkey Day - the food, not the country - I went with Brooke this morning to the Mercato Centrale. Despite my vegetarian inclinations, I'm really excited about the prospect of roasting a whole "tacchino". We roamed the market at 8:00am, before our opera class, and found a guy that had turkeys in his little butcher case. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Ciao! I enjoy starting my mornings off by pricing poultry. How much are your turkeys?

Butcher McGee: Depends on the bird. The fatties cost more. How many people are you serving?

Me (to Brooke): bohh.... how many people are coming?

Brooke: A lot. Like, 15, but none of them eat turkey.

Me (to myself): Of course. Why wouldn't we roast a turkey for a crowd of vegetarians...

Me (to B McGee): Six to eight people. Maybe. I don't know. But can we pay now and get it on Thursday?

Butcher McGee: Pay me two euros now, and I'll put your name on this small turkey with my cool little butcher pen, that way I remember it's yours when you come back. Don't you want a cool little butcher pen? Of course you don't. You're a vegetarian. A stupid vegetarian who is roasting a turkey.

Regardless, I'm super excited about this turkey thing, especially since it's my first Thanksgiving away from the home. Somehow in my head a dead bird evokes precious time wpent with family. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about that...


Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Tacchino-Killer" Yazge

La Grecia

Is it any less pathetic if it's in Greek???

Yes. That's right. I went all the way to Thessaloniki, Greece just so I could see New Moon. Not really. But we did see it. It's way better when there's a theater full of Greek teenagers to react to. They giggle and scream and squeal and clap like they're on uppers. It was such an experience that I wrote a sound poem about it on the flight back. A flight, by the way, that almost came plummeting out of the sky. The guy in front of us was deranged and kept banging his head against the window and putting his hand up as if he was going to pull the emergency hatch open. Legit crazy.

But without further ado, my Grecian Poem:

Dinner and a Movie

by the Ugly American

Rosé. Rosie. Roses.

All of the above.

Restaurant recommends rare recipe.

Steamin' stuffed squid.

Bottle bare before bill.

Stroll shore to see a show.

Gaggles of giggling girlies gone gaga.

Gawd...

Try to tolerate tween Twilight twitterings

Wine weacts wiff wafter.

Oops! Ouzo overboard!*

Why would yoooo watch whatever welse?

Greek gastronomy gleefully agrees!

My meatless mousaka moved me!

Vegan vamps vin!

*Should've shared shots shtory shwen we shleft the shore. Sho shorry.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Il Vampiro" Yazge

La Fanciulla del West

Saucy.

So in class the other day, we discussed an opera by Puccini: La Fanciulla del West. Our professore said it was based on a second-rate play by the American playwrite David Belasco, the quasi-original author of Madam Butterfly. It's a long story about how everyone back then thought it was cool to pervert a Japanese cultural tradition into sex trafficking, and then write about it. But now I'm rambling.

The point is that there were real guns and horses on stage. And the heroine, Minnie, had to keep a handle on a bunch of drunken miners. And she did it while packing heat. She's rough, and tough, and saves the man she loves - a Wild West bandit - by winning him in a game of poker (she cheats). Sexy. But it's funny, because in the middle of the opera, she gets her first kiss. She's like an early 20th century version of Drew Barrymore. Add all that with the fact that they yell "HULLO!" and "YEE-HAW!" every other line, you've got yourself one awesome opera. Our professore told us that some people try to count the times "HULLO" is said over the course of the show... I think he may have the imaginings of a brilliant drinking game. We're in the Wild Wild West afterall, right?

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Yippee-kai-aye!" Yazge

La Cucina Università

Mmmmm.... beer bread.

So my old suitemate, Derrick, and some of his friends have launched a website for their Kollege Kitchen venture. As part of their entrepreneurship class, the Kollege-Kitch team was asked to design a webstore based on their common interests. After stewing on it for a while, they decided that "nothing binds us closer together than our love for food." Ain't it the truth! And thus, Kollege Kitchen was born. They sell cookbooks, kitchen gadgetry, and more! Not to mention that they have mini instructional cooking videos (above).

The best part about this culinary adventure (besides now having another YouTube channel to distract you getting work done) is that all of the proceeds go to Feed the Children, a relief organization that provides clothes, shelter, food, medicine and other necessities to those who are suffering because of war, famine, poverty, and natural disasters. Everybody wins!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Kitch-tastic" Yazge

Venezia

Venice the Menace: gondolas; me and my wifey Hannah; the entrance to La Fenice and a picture inside... where no pictures are allowed; San Marco exterior and icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark.

So almost a week later, I'm finally getting around to talk about it. Venice was wonderful. I can't believe I wasn't going to go... it was the perfect day. We started off just wandering around, got coffee, and the most amazing pastries. I don't know why the rest of Italy's been holding out on us, but Venice certainly didn't. Think of a cinnamon bun, but flakey instead of gooey, and then squish it, fill it with chocolate and top it with powdered sugar and chocolate chips. Fantastic.

Eventually we found our way to San Marco, the local Basilica. The majority of the artwork is Byzantine, and mysteriously found it's way to Venice. That's the nice way of putting it. The other way, is to say that it was savagely pillaged from an Orthodox church in Constantinople by the heinous crusaders. I was really excited to see the icons of Sts. Matthew and Mark next to each other. It both warmed my heart and made me miss my brother.

After San Marco, we made it to Il Teatro La Fenice, the Venetian opera house. Some crazy person burnt it down in 1999, so they had to rebuild it. The nice thing is that they got to restore everything to the condition when it the theater was first built! Plus electricity! You weren't supposed to take pictures, but since when have signs and people in ill-fitting vests ever stopped me? Never. That's when. Also, the whole rebuilding of La Fenice was such a big deal that last week it was referenced in a mock funeral for the city of Venice. Apparently the locals are leaving in droves (only 60,000 people live in the city proper). So they gave the city a funeral. And then set the casket on fire...? Inside was a flag with a phoenix on it. Symbolism. Performance art mingled with political protest. Lame and confusing? You decide.

Before I go, I'd like to let you know that I have some really good stuff planned for you while I'm gone. Now that I'm starting to take advantage of all the little tools embedded in my blog, you get posts even when I'm without internet access for the weekend! I promise to figure out other cool stuff too. But let's be real: it took me over 5 months just to figure out delayed posting. Don't expect too much more by next week.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Thessaloniki-bound" Yazge

Mal Scrittore

This is where I've been: distracted by pretty girls. 

Well, pretty girl. Thanks Hannah. Thanks a lot. Are you happy you kept me from blogging?

But really, we went to Venice on Sunday, and ever since I've gotten back I haven't really been able to motivate myself to type. I won't apologize, because that's something Julia Child told me never to do. Well, her book said it. To a lot of people. But I like to think she was speaking directly to me. She said to just grin and bare it, then do better next time. So here's what I've figured out: I can write posts ahead of time, and then have them scheduled to be posted at a later date/time. So even though I'll be in Greece without a computer, you can still read my lovely narrative! What those kids are doing with those computer-machines these days, I tell you.

I'm going to put off talking about Venice for now. I'm tired. I mean, really, I'm always tired. But I don't have class tomorrow afternoon. It was cancelled. So I'll type my fingers away tomorrow.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "meh" Yazge

La fine della Londra

Last bits of London: The National Theater; Liz Me and Big Ben; a church and cool statue; me being "The South Bank Lion"

I'm not really sure what much I have left to say about London, but I still had some fun pictures that I felt I needed to share. As soon as Facebook is done being stupid, I'll upload all the rest of my pictures there so you can peruse at your own leisure.

The only thing I feel I still need to talk about is the play I went to see one night at the National Theater. It was called "Mother Courage", the most recent incarnation of the Brecht play. It was really good, and the cast included the woman who played Aunt Petunia in the Harry Potter movies (she was Mother Courage) and the guy who plays Dudley (who was her son again in the play!) It was really good, and even though the play is set during the Wars of Religion between Poland and Sweeden, there were a lot of really cool anachronisms that made it more relevant (and probably alluding to the war in Iraq). It's all about a woman, Mother Courage, who is torn between her love for her children and her love for making money off of war profiteering. The latter wins out.

But enough about London. I went to Modena today with a trip arranged through NYU. We got to have a real Balsamic Vinegar tasting, because apparently the stuff they sell in the stores is just a crappy reduction of the real thing. The stuff we saw today was over a hundred years old, and is passed down through families. They have a system of making it in barrels in their attic, and it takes 12 years from start to finish to make a decent batch. It's a lot thicker and has a MUCH stronger taste. You use drops, and sparingly too. This all happened at the house of an 83-year-old woman. She was spry and hilarious, and loved talking to us in Italian. She didn't speak a word of English. I really wanted to buy some to bring back to the family, but it's $60 for about 12 ounces. Sorry folks, but we'll make due with the store bought kind. Or start fermenting it in the basement. Your choice!

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Balsamafied" Yazge

Il Cibo Inglese

Food (from top, down): sign for "Eat" restaurant... they know what they're talking about; my fish and chips; I LOVE ICE CREAM! ; lots of mushrooms; this weird vegetable that is really cool, but I don't know what it is.

I don't know why people think England has horrible food. I liked it. I could eat fish and chips every day of the week. It's fantastic. And jams and clotted creme? I know I already talked about that, but it's worth repeating. I found a recipe for clotted creme, and I'm definitely going to try it when I get home.

Oh, and Ice Cream Truck ice cream? It's custardy. Thick. Heaven. And when you get it in a chocolate covered cone, you've officially made the best decision of your life. Hands down. Just look at my face. It's as if I'm 10 years old again. Probably why I was a very large child...

Also, the markets (for the most part) are awesome. There's a billion different types of vegetables, so many that I didn't even know what some of them are. Like the weird spirally green thing above? BUT! Be forewarned! You will get robbed blind. Literally. Someone stole my Flip video camera while I was buying salmon. I knew I smelled something fishy... Yup. I went there. But the joke is on the idiot that thought he was getting a fully functioning camera. The battery on that camera was crap. So there!

As a result of losing that camera, I've lost all video footage of Paris and most of London. I took some more on my normal camera, but it's not the same. I'll still work on piecing something together, but it's not going to be Wafflefest quality. Sorry! Oh, and I'm shaving tomorrow morning. I still feel like I have one more London post in me, but I don't have it in me to keep this much scruff.

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Soon-to-be-Scruff-Shavin'" Yazge

La Torre di Londra

Lots of things at the Tower of London (from top down): White Tower, Tower Bridge, awesome sign, contemporary guard, old-timey guard.

Oh the Tower of London. It's such a peaceful place... now. I got there right as the tower opened, and there weren't many people around. It was nice to walk around and learn about torture and executions, and top it all off with a nice treacle tart.

I would have taken pictures of the Crown Jewels, but they wouldn't let me. Sad day. I don't understand why not. It's not like I'm going to go home and use my own world's largest diamond to make an even better one... although, you know, I just might. To prove how stupid it is that you can't take pictures. I also wasn't allowed to take pictures in the White Tower (which is the building that you think of when you hear "The Tower of London", the tower 'proper'). That was almost more upsetting. There was an exhibit on called "Henry VIII: Dressed to Kill". Perfect name. I was never convinced that we ditched the wives because they didn't give him viable sons. I was convinced it was because he didn't find the right... *cough*man*cough*.... woman. Why else would he be dressed to kill? Because he's FAB-U-LOUUUS! But really the exhibit was all about his suits of armor, which was really cool. It was put together by the History Channel. Though I was upset to find that not a single actor from the Showtime series The Tudors were on display. Foul move.

My Breakfast

When I got tired of looking at things, I decided I was ready to start eating things. So convenient that they have a little cafe in the Tower. Where else would the prisoners have high tea? I tried my first treacle tart, which is now by far my favorite type of tart. I also got a scone with clotted cream and jam. You just have to. I'm pretty sure it's British Law. I didn't want to get thrown into the tower. It's fun for a while, but I'm pretty sure it'd get a bit gloomy after a while...

Ciao Bella!

Matteo "Treacle Tart" Yazge