Grammys? Really?

The hottest mess this award season...

I don't even know where to begin. There was so much insanity and trashiness, my head is literally spinning. I'd love to talk about how Taylor Swift is tone deaf, or how embarrassing it must have been for Stevie Nicks to play backup tambourine for her. I could also gab on about how sad it was the Kathy Griffin didn't win for best spoken word album, but after tonight she'll have enough material to keep making CDs for years. Or I could even blabber about how ridiculous it is that CBS wants to have some online voting system for something no one cares about. We already have the People's Choice Awards. Let them give away awards that don't mean anything.

But the real meat of the evening came when they decided to honor Michael Jackson. First of all, who thought it was a good idea to have Celine, Usher, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Smokey Robinson sing a Michael Jackson song? As my friend Zach put it, "There's 'No no no no way' J-Hud should be singing Michael." Furthermore, who thought - having decided on that cracked out ensemble - that putting it in 3D would make it even better? False. All false. But we got to watch Beyoncé ridiculously groovin' in her 3D glasses. I actually laughed out loud at that. Then, once the singing was over (thank God), THEY BRING OUT THE CHILDREN! What?! We weren't allowed to see them the entire time he was alive, but now that DVD sales need boosting, we're justing going to parade them around like a dog and pony show. And where was Blanket? Did he have to stay home? Or was he keeping Uncle Tito and Aunt Latoya company while they were filming the latest episode of that new reality show? Because we all know there was no way in hell the publicists were going to let any of Michael's siblings get within 5 miles of a live microphone. That family needs so much time in post-edit, I'm surprised that reality show isn't going to be aired years after it's first filmed. And what was with the cousins who just stood there looking stupid? Don't think we didn't notice that it looked like Michael wasn't the only one who had some work done. 

And before I go, someone should tell Andre Bucchelli that he should NEVER sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water." The operatic style doesn't led itself to soul music. It just sounds condescending. I'll donate money to Haiti if he promises to never sing that song again.

Ciao Bella

Matteo "Grammy Horrified" Yazge